TIRED

TIRED

           I'm tired of being everthing i can but seems like I'm not good enough for the world. I'm tired of working my butt off and not getting noticed for it in any way. I'm tired of being someone else when I'm just learning how to be myself...yall I'm just plain ol' TIRED !! I go to school all week long then i go home on the weekends and clean, cook, and do all the things that my mother can't do since she's had surgery. Only so much a person can take until they just can't take any more, my body is week and my mind is tired and i just need a break. I really don't think its too much to ask when you just wnat to chill and have a day to yourself. I like to think of myself as a indendent person and it just didn;t come about it happen after my uncle Mike left and join the Army. He told me once he lfet that I now have to learn how to hold my own and  depend on no one but myself from this day on. I felt like my best friend left and i was all alone in this crazy world. He called as much as he could and gave me encouraging words that'll hold me until the next time we talk. He step in and became the father that i never had and did a great job at it. Being only 7 years apart and growing up in the same house made it alot easier for me to grasp on to his every word and know that he wouldn't steer me down the wrong road. I feel like i don't tell him enough that i love him and really am thankful for all that he has done for me and all that he's gonna do. I know that's really when i look to God for alot of things at that point of my life and i was mainly looking for guidance. When God said that he'll never leave nor forsake me i belive that thing and really look to him for what he said. I needed him more than ever and i still do to this day, that's when it came to me that you have to give to recieve and that little saying means so much. Most people look at it as money or something valuable but it means something diffeerent to me. If i look for God to send me blessings and everything above then i must give him some of me if not all. The things of the world that i love the most i made sure that that was the forst thing tht i gave up and gave to him. And letting that go will not be as hard if you focus on his word before and after giving it up it makes the transition that much smoother. Know that i really know better and know that God is truly real and don't like to be secod in no ones life that's when all good start to come my way. I really don't want to get off and stop writing but i'm TIRED and sleepy because i'm cleaning and i have tons of homework to be doing so i'ma be back on sooner than later..MAKE GOD 1ST NOT 2ND IN EVERYTHING YOU DO....

LOVE,

LAQUECIA MANN

Part of LIFE...

Part of LIFE...

              Realize that living is part of life. Now i do not mean that going day by day is living but going through the bd stuff is. If you can overcome going through the bad just to get to the good,you testimony will be amazing and will help you or someone else inthe long run. People grow from sharing their life story woth others. Letting others know that God is good and let him know that you will be careful to give him all the glory and honor. I make it my thing to thank God all day long when nothing else is on my mind i thank him. When i'm going thru i thank him and let him know that even though i feel like i can't take it ima still thank you in the mist of it all. God has been so good to me i just can't tell it all, when i think about him i start to cry. But all tears of joy because if you look back on where you at and where God brought you from you can't do nothing but look up to the heals from which cometh your health and all your health comes fro mthe Lord and tell him thank you. I was going thru some tough things this week i had papers due back to back and it seem like i just was stuck, like i was goin nowhere. So in the mist of my storm i told the devil he's a lie and i told God i can't take and i need his help. And once i started to pray and give him glory thru my troubles it seemed like one paper got dun,then another then my math came to me easy. His word says if you ONLY faint NOT and that's what i did. And i learn you just can't call on the name of the Lord when you having a bad day and when eveything is going down hill you have to call on him when all is good. I was doing bad in my english class on my papers and i ask him to be in the driver seat and let me pass this next paper and let there be harly no corrections that needed to be made and he did that thing for me. Now what would i look like not giving him the praise that he deserve. God is good all the time, and all the time God is good. When something just is not sitting right with me i ALWAYS call my unce in the army on skype to get some encouraging words that will help me along with my week at least. He's the type that tell you a little of what you want to hear and alot of what you need to hear. Then he turn it aroound and make you notice that your way was the wrong way after all and teaches you how to not let things get to you and just chill and pray God got it in his hand. That's why i think so highly of him because he's been there through everything and has help me even when he really can't afford to, but i love him and i really hope that he know that. well now to steer a little off of topic, i clean up today, the mess wasn;t mines to clean but i did it. I feel like if its a house full of ladies the house should be nothing but spotless everyday. it make it seem like you had very little home training. And that's not cute at all....well i really do not want to keep going on and on about nothing so i guess this ends what i have to say this week.

                          Love <3

Laquecia Mann





Sick in College

Sick in College

          

                   OMG !! This sucks,i hate being sick and have to push through it because missing class in college is sooo NOT whats up. And this being my first year i really cnt afford to do so..if im not sneezing then im blowing my nose or im sleeping or something is hurting that never hurted before. I really dnt know why but i been to myself for the last past week and a half. I really feel like everything is tryna get the best of me and i dnt know how to control myself. I broke up with my dude one week then i was sad the next. But when one dooe close another one opens. Everything that i applied for i got approved for it and that's nothing my God favoring me. He said in his word if you ONLY faint not and trust and believe that his word is true and he will show up and show out. But on top of that i make it my thing to give him all the praises and tell him thank you all day long. He also, God, made it his #1 thing to make sure that my uncle Mike came home safe and sound, I know i talk about the both of them alot but they have influence my life in suh a way that you can't help but to talk about them. I hate it for the people who come to read my blogs and don't like the name of the most high spoken well you just need to dimiss yourself because from this point on im gonna let the world know how good he's been to me. It seems like i ask God for help or support one day and the next it seems like it comes to past just that quick. And to me that's what you call leaning not to your own understanding but unto God's....That's a powerful thing to do the bible says if only you have the faith of a mustardseed, and its sad that people can't even put that much faith in the one that ask the death angles to pass over you in the middle of the night. And i know im farrrrrr from being perfect but in the eye sight of God i am, and that's why i can stand here and tell you the goodness of his ways now. I love him and i give him the glory even when things are going bad and the main thing that people just get mix up is praising him before something goes wrong thank him and call on his name when things are going good. And as soon as you let go and let God that's when things start happening and your gonna sit back and break out in tears because its amazing how fast he did that thing for you. I can be happy as can be and soon as i think about how good God has been to me honey i tell you i get happier and buss out crying because of the joy that he has instilled in my heart. Yall just dnt know how good he's been to me its crazy after all the wrong i do he's still there for me through it all....he's so good,amazing, he's real. I can go on and on about all that's he's done for me and i thank him for what he's about to i just want to thank him and he said you grow from your testimony and so i'll tell the world about how good he is...and i make sure that i keep myself encourage because if you dnt do it then no one else will..and if you can go to the club and to your friends house and have fun all week long then why can't you go to church and give the Lord some of your time,im telling you the Lord will bless you and ways that you thought you'll nNEVER be blessed in...well i have other homework to do so ima just dwell on the goodness of the Lord and ima be back on later this week with a different topic..

Love Always,

Laquecia Mann <3

Just Know..

Just Know..

              Start my day with a, "Lord i thank you," and carry on through it with the say phrase the end of my day always seem to be a little different. I make sure that i have a one on one talk with God because i know that he'll hear me out and won't judge me on my faults. Yes i've dun wrong a lot to be exact but when it all boils down so to speak i learn from it and try to do better even if it kills me. Life is all about that, God knows that your not perfecct but he do want to see if after making that mistake did you learn from it. And i try to make sure that everything that i do is pleasing in the eye sight of the Lord. Sometimes i just sit in my purple butterfly chair and log on to my blog page and type away,it seems like it makes me feel so much better when im dun. Coming to college i thought it was going to be easy to maintain the life style that you once was living and still do the things you see fit. But to be real i feel like its more than i can handle, i plan ahead and do homework the day it was assigned so it can be out of the way but it still feels hard. I feel like just calling home and telling my mother to come and help me but i know she can't. I guess the reall world has got to me and im trying my best to not let it ingulf me. It seems like once you finish one paper two more needs to dun and turned in in the same week. Trying to balance having a job and school,then the stress of having to find another one because this seasonal job is almost over,and i hate not having my own money. Its just to much on my plate and i hate to complain so i just write it all down on my blog and vent until i feel better. Im really glad that my teacher had us writing this once a week becaused i know if no one else i need to. I learned at an early age that life is what you make it and im determine to make it the best that i can; because if it turns out shitty then i know that i can only be mad at myself. Im sad that my uncle mike wasnt here to stear me in the right direction when i mess up like when i was younger but at the same time im glad that he wasnt because i wouldnt be the amazing and self dependent person that i am today. I felt like i was loosing him once he got married but he had told me that i'll always be the apple of his eye and no matte rwho comes in the picture ima still be his little girl. We only 7 years apart so that's why we're so close, we act more like brothers and sisters than uncle and neice..well i feel like i dun vented enough so i guess that i'll just move to the next homework assignment until i have to write again next week on the most weidest topic ever...   

Love Always,

Laquecia <3

Crazzy LIFE !!

CRAZZY LIFE !!!

                I guess im moving faster than my brain really wants me to.Get up and make sure im up and out the door no later than 8:30am then in class by 9am. To some thats easy to do get up and start your day,but for me it seems to be a struggle. Iguess i need that daily motivation,so that's why EVERY orning i talk to my mother until i reach my class and give her a 15min.sprul of how my yesterday was like. If that doesn't seem to work well then i go to the one that always seem to make me smile and that's God, he told me anytime of the day just call on him and his ears will be open and ready to listen. But if i really want to talk to my better half then it would be my army uncle Mike Cash, he seems to get me thru them days that you feel like ALL hope is gone. He's the type that tells you what you need to hear not what you want to hear. And i really think that we all need that person in our lives that'll be there thought it all but will also tell you when what you doing aint going over to well. That's why i love hime so much, he exspects nothing less that the best and i feel like i've let him && myself down when i come short that's why i try to do my best while im at my best. Another someone who i think will one day be my future hubby and my bff even if were not on that level is Henry, he always try to tell me what i wnt to hear then he;ll come in with that very thing that'll make me have a, "Well yeah baby you right" moment.lol, wheneva im having a bad day, like today, i'll just text him and tell him whats wrong and he'll just say i'll be down there this week boo boo.lol...I'll be so slated once he gets here that i forget that i was even pissed,crazzy huh?..My granny is the type of person that'll let you know what she thinks in a Godly manner,and i think we all need that sometimes. Because the bible is a reference to us all and its here for us to use. That lady can break me down like a fraction but moments later those very words that broke down, they seem to lift me back up. I see the struggles that my family went through and i try ever day to be better than them. Because your today will effect you 2morrow. I really cant say why i was really mad today but i know that it felt like everyone && everything was getting to me. I think that if my uncle was actually here to talk to me and twll me that everything will be alright that things would be that much better,but since he aint i have to move ahead. You'll see in my blogs PLENTY of times that i'll mention my uncle's name and i'll even call him my pops or daddy because even though were ONLY 7years apart we been together our entire lives and he's been there for me like a father. Its funny because when ever we go out we always say this is my dad and this is my daughter.lol...but i love him, more than life itself. Dont get me wrong i love my real dad also, even if it took him 18years to come around,i guess cuz he aint gotta pay child support no more,lol..but even after all that shit that he put me through i'll give him the shirt off my back if he needed it because at the end of the day the bible says, "Honor thou mother and father and thou days shall be long." And i plan to not cut my days short by holding on to grudges,life is too short to let the past over take your future. Its sad that life unfold that way but you live to learn and its all good because if you have life, health, and strength then your good. bUT change the subject....i seem to make new friends really quickly, first i sit back and read a person before i even speak then if i feel that we could be cool then i start to have lil convo's then that's when you can tell if you made  great investment or not.lol..but im a very friendly person but as soon as i feel like you tryna step on my toes then i know that we're gonna have a few problems. but overall i think the time while im here im going to make the best out of different situation,but i already know that its  gon be some trouble sooner than later and thats just me being real.lol..I guess i over did myslef last week my teacher asked for 700 words and me being the person i am i gave her 1,112 words and trust i had tons of more where that came from.lol..well i guess i need to save some for my next blog that i'll be writing later this week,so be safe and keep being yourself no matter who dnt like it....

Love Always,

Laquecia :)

THE UNKNOWN

THE UNKNOWN

          The UNKNOWN hit me soon as i entered MSC, it hit me in a way that i never thought that it would. It made me stop for a second and say, "Man i really miss my family." It ONLY took a week for me to break down and realize how much i really depend on my family in many different ways. Mainly emotional, but when im going thru i just need them there to tell me that everything is gonna be ok. By the way im a freshman as you can tell, im 18 years of age and i love to write. its my way of letting everything out and getting my feelings on paper or sum type of visual thing so i can look back and say, " I over came that all on my own, just me an a keyboard." I currently drive a PT Cruiser because i sold my Mustang right before i started college...FYI: i miss my car.lol...but i tend to talk until i run out of words so im going to apologize now because i know that ima go on anf off subject. But when you think about it it is MY BLOG and i can bounce around if i please.lol..thats why the name of the particular entry is THE UNKNOWN cuz i dnt even know what im gonna write about.lol. Seems like i have to be all alone in my big purple butterfly chair for all my thoughts to come together and actually make sense. I love to shop but i HATE spending money...crazy huh?, Every girl has a addiction and mines is POLO and Coach that about the only thing that i will spend crazy money on...you have to treat yourself every once in a while. I have a very low tolerance level for BS i can't hang around people that i know will be cool now and gonna piss me off in like the next 10min. My math skills teacher Mrs.Jolley is so cool she remind me of my granny back home. The way she says things and make them seem like that's exactly what you suppose to do. Not math wise but the basic of life,she said something in class that really hit home with me. "Surround yourself with positve people and life will be so much better for everyone," and it really made me look at the people who i hang around on a daily basis. Life is to short to walk around being mad all the time and angry,and that's the problem that i have.I tend to let things,normally small things get to me and it brings my entire day down. If i know that my bad mood finna come on then i try to read my bible or even just something as simple as telling the Lord THANK YOU. I know some people don't believe in the most high but if you don't then this page is not for you to read because you never know i might just write a entire blog about the goodness of God and im really tryna be a better person daily and i don't wana upset you so as of know if that person is you; YOU DON'T GOTTA GO HOME BUT YOU NEED TO GET OFF MY PAGE.LOL...but back to what i was saying...ummmm ! But if you want to know more about me as a person then keep viewing my blog page and you will see that im the most nicest,sweetest,confident,meanest,rudeest,straight forward girl that you'll ever meet if that makes any sense at all.lol...well i guess that's all i have to say for now u=but just know that i'll be back with another long entry for yall to read...

 Love Always,

Laquecia :)

                                                                  UM MM....
 

                     When i actually sit down and look around at whats around me i learn more than i ever thought that i could. Life is a crazy thing that we have to go thru just to get to enjoy what on the other side. I wonder do people think like me,think about why others act a certain way and we care not to share how we feel we just hold it all inside until we feel its necessary to let it all out. Unlike some people i express my feelings in a different way, a way that only my best friend/uncle/"pop" and I could understand. I know that if I'm feeling a certain way, even if he is a billion miles away i can call him and tell him how i feel and he'll give me the type of advice that ONLY make sense to us. Most people would view me as a mean, conceited, rude, and short tempered person but at the end of the day who cares...lol !! When ever someone feels the need to share their views with me about me i wait patiently until they're finish and let them know that I'm not mean I'm just misunderstood; misunderstood because you care not to get to know the real me and care not to know why i act the way i do so therefor i care not to know how you feel about the way i act. I take every part of my life and look at it as if it was a clock on the wall; i can't control when i'm going to leave this world but i can control what decisions i make while im here. So i focus more on the things i can change rather than the things that are out of my hands. I learn at a very early age that everything happens for a reason. Rather the reason is good or bad just know that it was meant to happen. I always go by this quote that my uncle gave to me before he left to go to the army he said, "First place is second place looser." And that quote has been branded in my  hear t and has made me perserve through hard times. I know that i tend to get totally off subject sometimes but i guess i look at this as a way to let all of my frustation out and put all the mostly negative stuff in writing and put as much as i can postive so that it balances out. Life is what you make it and i plan on making it the best that i can while i can. Well iguess its totally time for me to take a nap and get ready for work in the morning, but it was a great exersise to have for homework because this is a great way to express yourself with writing...well until next time !!!

                                                                                                                  With love...Laquecia <3